just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize