I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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