I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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