He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize