he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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