My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
