Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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