you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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