Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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