So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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