You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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