Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think i got beer on your cat.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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