I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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