That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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