And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm at about main and main street
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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