You're my little dorito
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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