And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
