Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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