i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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