this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
