you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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