Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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