Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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