I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
