with your own penis?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
