i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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