went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
