Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
