it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
