Sponge bath it is.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
