This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize