how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
