I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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