he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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