So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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