Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize