Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
