all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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