Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize