absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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