I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
