We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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