just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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