JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize