Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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