Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
