any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This toilet bowl is my home.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
