I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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