4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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