I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
