She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When did we convert life to cartoon?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
