omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
