definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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