i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
