small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
