Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
