So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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