sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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