I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
