i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
