Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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